دیوار، Wall

یه دیوار که از دلم حک کنم روش. A wall to carve in it what goes in my heart.

دیوار، Wall

یه دیوار که از دلم حک کنم روش. A wall to carve in it what goes in my heart.

قبلا این وبلاگ رو ثامن‌بلاگ بود، اما اونا مهمون‌نوازای خوبی نبودن، انداختنم بیرون :))
الان اینجام
من کلا آدم شادیم، اما احتمالا این وبلاگ جدیت و گاها اندوه بسیار داشته باشه و کاربردشم همینه. قراره با «دیوار» حرف بزنم! شاید بعدا یکی پژواک صدامو گرفت :)

I am mainly a silly, happy person, though, this blog has a serious and sometimes sorrowful taste to it. I am supposed to talk to Wall! Maybe somebody gets my echo later.

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I just remembered sth from my childhood (abt 12yrs old)
I had a book full of maps of different countries and I was a fan of "empire games", those games that you're a king, you fight and expand your territory. I was more comfortable playing alone so I had a paper with my soldier count and budget on it and used a long ruler as my weapon (sword or gun), fighting with imaginary opponents. Each game happened on a specific map and I was constantly updating my territory after each war. There were different variations of the game (modern time vs ancient, starting as a prince and inheriting the crown vs starting as an ordinary person, happy vs sad ending, etc) and I would keep playing each for a week or two. It was played in my parents room or in my room when nobody was there and it happened a lot that my mom scolded me for jumping on the bed. Sometimes it had a bit of romance taste to it as well.

The very same game setting was also of my interest when I was a super hero doing different things having different super powers. I was again playing it alone in my parents room with different scenarios and variations.
In those years I had another game I remember which had a similar nature. I used to draw a small store on a paper and working hard to expand my business. Still my budget on the paper, my inventory size too. Still alone and when my brother asked me to join I rejected. However later we played the same thing together and I cheated a lot to be superior than him in the game. I rent 'myself' as a car to my brother to earn more money; I was carrying him on my back!

I used to play with him a lot and I don't know when was the "I prefer playing alone" time point. I even remember that in some cases I was insisting and even manipulating him into playing with me when I was ten or eleven.

What a childhood.

 

 

P. S: just wrote whatever came to my mind with no proofreading. Any mistakes? Cut me some slack

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1) Red lipstick is one of those popular stuffs I don't like much. Neither its color nor the fact that it's a lipstick. In spite of its provoking nature, (according to witnesses anecdotes,) it tastes bitter. And not always its nature is provoking. Neither does it taste bitter all the time.

2) I've had tons of imaginary fight scenarios in which I've beaten the hell out of a random imaginary offender. It feels so good when I'm fighting them back in my thoughts in a way that makes me smile. Or even grin. Seemingly that's the real me and what's more satisfying than letting my real self free, even in a non material world. But if the same scenario happens in the real life, I'd prefer controlling the outburst of "the real me," doing the things in the most tension-free way.

3) Nostalgia might have been a red lipstick. Loved by so many while not being my most favorite thing. With a tricky ungenuine loads of feelings not matching the reality of it. And the unstability in the mentioned characteristic.
Nostalgia might have been an imaginary street fight with a guaranteed win which brings a broad smile to your face while trying it in the real life has no guaranteed success (if no guaranteed failure) and is nothing worthy of risk either.
Nostalgia is red. Worrisome. Hateful. Painful. Disgusting. Sign of danger. Still attractive. Still unavoidable.

And destructive. How much? Click to see

 

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